Saturday, May 24, 2014

'Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 4 Recap: Kirk Brings Home a 'Tenderoni,' Scrappy & Bambi Deal With Miscarriage

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With so many things going down during this week’s episode of ‘Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta,’ there’s no perfect place to start. The drama came from all directions. First, why can’t Joseline and Stevie J get their wedding date down? Was it June when they tied the knot? Was it July? Was it the 28th? Was it the 29th? Maybe someone does need to go check Atlanta’s public records because the legitimacy of this marriage is beginning to sound a little suspect.

And did anyone count how many times Joseline dropped the word “bitch” in a two-minute time frame? In case you didn’t know, her booking agent former friend from the strip club, Dawn, is a bitch. Here’s why. Mimi and Stevie J are already at war, but Dawn had to be the one to throw gasoline on the fire all because she got fired from a job she allegedly wasn’t doing. To get a little payback, she decided to take every Jordan family secret she had and give it to the one person who clearly has no qualms in exposing household bedtime stories.

According to Dawn, not only are Stevie J and Joseline not married but they don’t own the White House or their “Beamer, Benz or Bentley.” And to top things off, the former booking agent claims Stevie used his bestie, Benzino, to promote the faux matrimony by placing Mr. and Mrs. Jordan Stevie J and Joseline on the cover of Hip Hop Weekly. But the fact that neither of them have been able to get their own wedding date right since this season’s first episode has to make people wonder.

But while the Jordan crew works on figuring out if their vows hold any validity, Scrappy and Bambi unexpectedly mourn over the loss of their unborn child. After rushing herself to the hospital, doctors let Bambi know she suffered a miscarriage, but surprisingly Mama Dee comes to the rescue with some homemade soup. Bambi is on the defensive because it’s no secret that Scrappy’s mother doesn’t care for her. However, she’s happy the Queen of the Palace shared some quality time with her.

The most awkward part about this entire situation is that somehow, in Mama Dee’s mind, this experience is all about her. “It’s like a rug was pulled out from under me,” she tells Bambi after saying there’s no poison in the soup. Then piano keys start playing in the background, and Mama Dee sheds some tears about her own miscarriage. There’s nothing funny about losing a child, but who knew Scrap’s mom had feelings?

As tears are falling over lost children, Kirk Frost is busy coming up with ways to bring another child into this world with Atlanta’s favorite waitress, Jasmine. Now, no one is saying that Kirk is actively trying to get Jasmine to have his child, but eyes have to roll at the amount of time he’s spending playing pool at this bar. And knowing that everyone watching is probably having their own “WTF” moment while watching, Mr. Frost goes ahead and addresses the issue.

“We’re spending a lot of time here at the sports bar, but Jasmine always comes through with a stiff drink and a pretty smile. She’s going to school, she’s smart and she has aspirations. Basically, she’s just a sweet girl,” he states.

Kirk, you’re an idiot. It’s common knowledge that you get the cute nanny if you don’t care about your wife and the old, ugly nanny if you do. Audiences around the country hear you saying that you love your wife, Rasheeda, now that you know for sure baby Karter is yours, and now your repeat missions to acquire a “stiff drink” are out of control. “Gucci, you don’ love me,” has to be playing over someone’s speakers right about now.

When Kirk tells the educated bar employee that he’s interested in having her work for him and his wife, she quickly asks why there’s no wedding ring if he’s married. This loser responds with, “We’re friends right now.” Did he really just tell some “random” (Rasheeda’s words) that you’re just friends with your wife? Rasheeda, we know you have kids and years behind these vows, but you have to be getting sick and tired of this by now, no?

Now, as far as Karlie Redd and Yung Joc go, their toxic adult slumber party sessions — because whatever they have can’t be a relationship — is about to amp up Mona Scott-Young’s ratings. Karlie’s on some can’t-eat-can’t-sleep stuff over Joc, and Joc is out here running around flaunting his side chick in her face. No shade, but it’s Joc. Is this scenario really happening?

And before we conclude this recap of Monday night ratchet TV, what is Waka Flocka Flame’s story line supposed to be? We’re four episodes in and he and Tammy just made their second appearance, which lasted all of three minutes. Then it’s concluded with another tearful five minutes. #JustSayin.

There are so many unanswered questions after last night’s episode, so make sure you check back next week to see who slapped who and who finally has the strength to chuck up the deuces and leave their drama behind.

Next: Watch Yung Joc 'Address the Tweets'

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